Sometimes, the people we love most in the world will break our hearts, call out our fears and sometimes they may feel the need to use our words against us. It sucks. It makes us want to recoil from everyone and dive deeper inside, putting up bigger barriers, bigger walls, moving away from the love that is in our hearts and move fully into pain that can and will destroy us. I know this all too well.
I know that what one may see as our weakness, is our strength- our superpower. Having gone through my own traumas, I want to share what I know to be true:
It's okay to walk away- if even for a moment. It's okay if you feel you need to stay and continue the journey, but you have to make that choice for yourself. When you let another dictate your choices, you give your power away. We learn most when we use our power- as we are given free will for this very reason.
It's ALWAYS okay to forgive yourself and others. In fact, it's a necessary means to move through the pain. You choose how long you want to hold on to the pain and when you are truly tired of hurting, you'll choose to let go and then you will take the steps to do so.
When you do choose to forgive and let go, it's important to realize- WE ARE ALL HUMAN. We all just want to be loved. The hurt that's handed to you...is very telling of the hurt someone is experiencing and sometimes the only way to move through their own pain is to share it with you in a not so loving manner. Is that okay? No. But sometimes it is necessary. The pain can be used to move us out of "stuck" and into "movement". Relationships are supposed to change, just as life changes, our connections to one another change.
I am writing this post today because I am finding in my own life, the things I've shared from my heart, that have been tossed back at me in a hurtful way, have helped me to see what my strengths are. Things that I thought were my weaknesses are actually my strengths and that, that is FU@&ING BEAUTIFUL! I always thought, gosh I wish I had more friends and I would tell people this and I would try to make more friends and then I would find myself pulling back or just not clicking the way I'd envisioned in my head. MY POWER is in solitary. It is when I feel the least judgement, the least confined, and the most peace within who I am. I love people. I love groups. I love talking and sharing and being, but MY TRUE NATURE is having a great amount of solitude- this is not something to be ashamed of. THIS IS MY POWER.
*Saving notes *CYA, lol. CYA is Covering Your A$$ and I have done that most of my life. I do this because sometimes I do not remember things and I can go back and see what it is that occurred, especially when someone tells me I didn't do something. My thought is, "Well, let's see what the heck happened". I will probably have saved the discussion in my notes somewhere. Those CYA's came in handy for me today! LOL. So yet another strength that was tossed my way as an insult!
All of the things that I thought made me weak...are my damn superpowers! AHAHAHAHAHA.
Why am I sharing this? BECAUSE I have given so many readings to people who have had a similar experience and you know what, those things they think are their weaknesses, are indeed their superpowers. Maybe you are shy, and you don't want to stand in front of crowds and share your story with the world. Then don't. You do you! Maybe you find you are a chameleon, and your likes might change depending on who your friends are and you are told you don't have your own life. MAYBE that is your life. Maybe you are here to have numerous experiences. TRUST ME, fitting in, is also a superpower! OWN THAT SHIT!
Take some time to analyze who you are. What are the things you've pushed down about yourself? Those things are a huge part of who you are.
YOU ARE HERE FOR A REASON.