EGO

I have repeatedly said over the years that ego has no place in my line of work. I believe my readings have nothing to do with me. They are about the client and their loved ones. But Ego does a lot of work on our behalf and can absolutely help me in my work, and it can be beneficial to you as well. New age groups tell us that ego is bad. It's not helpful. It needs to be dissolved... Does it?

The ego often gets a bad rap in many spiritual circles. I'm sure you've even heard me talk about ego and I'm sure you've heard the term ego death, but ego is actually a vital part of our human experience. When understood and integrated, the ego can serve as a powerful ally in our growth, protection, and expression.

According to Freud and modern psychology, the ego mediates between the impulsive id and the moralistic superego. It’s the part of you that makes rational decisions, adapts to reality, and manages internal conflict. When balanced, it’s your inner diplomat.

Ego is the mask we wear to play our role in the cosmic drama. It’s not the enemy—it’s the character costume. When we honor it without over-identifying, it becomes a vessel for soul expression.

Here’s how the ego assists us:

Protection and Survival

  • Instinctual defense: The ego helps us recognize threats and respond to danger, both physically and emotionally.

  • Boundary setting: It allows us to say “no,” assert our needs, and protect our energy from being drained or manipulated.

Identity and Self-Expression

  • Sense of self: The ego gives us a personal identity, helping us navigate the world with a coherent sense of “I.”

  • Confidence and ambition: It fuels our drive to achieve, create, and express our uniqueness—essential for sharing gifts and fulfilling soul missions.

Navigation of Duality

  • Contrast and choice: The ego helps us experience duality—light and shadow, success and failure—so we can make conscious choices and evolve.

  • Mirror for growth: It reflects our wounds, desires, and attachments, offering clues for healing and spiritual expansion.

Catalyst for Awakening

  • Triggers transformation: Egoic struggles (jealousy, pride, fear) often push us toward deeper introspection and spiritual awakening.

  • Shadow work: By observing the ego’s patterns, we uncover hidden beliefs and karmic imprints that are ready to be transmuted.

While the ego can serve as a helpful guide in navigating the human experience, when left unchecked or overly dominant, it can distort perception, block spiritual growth, and create suffering. Here's a breakdown of the negative effects of ego, especially through a metaphysical lens:

Spiritual Disconnection

  • Illusion of separation: The ego thrives on duality—me vs. you, success vs. failure—disconnecting us from unity consciousness and divine flow.

  • Resistance to surrender: It fears losing control, making it hard to trust intuition, spirit guides, or universal timing.

Distorted Self-Image

  • Inflation or deflation: Ego can swing between superiority (“I’m better than”) and inferiority (“I’m not enough”), both rooted in fear.

  • Attachment to roles: It clings to identities (teacher, healer, victim, etc.), limiting soul evolution and authentic expression.

Emotional Rigidity

  • Defensiveness: Ego resists feedback, making growth and healing difficult.

  • Judgment and comparison: It thrives on measuring worth through external validation, breeding jealousy, shame, or resentment.

Energetic Imbalance

  • Blocked chakras: Overactive ego often congests the solar plexus (control, power) and throat (expression), while underactive ego can dim the heart and crown.

  • Karmic loops: Ego-driven choices can perpetuate cycles of fear, control, and avoidance, delaying soul lessons.

Sabotage of Relationships

  • Conditional love: Ego seeks approval and control, rather than offering compassion or vulnerability.

  • Projection: It externalizes inner wounds, blaming others instead of owning and healing them.

Many spiritual seekers view the ego as “bad” because they associate it with illusion, separation, and suffering. But that’s only part of the story. Let’s unpack the roots of this belief and where it can go astray.

FURTHER EXPLORATION:

Why Ego Gets a Bad Reputation in Spiritual Circles

Ego equals illusion, right? In traditions like Buddhism and Vedanta, the ego is seen as a false self that clings to identity, status, and control—obscuring the soul’s true nature.

Ego fuels suffering. Desire, attachment, and fear often stem from egoic identification. When we believe “I am my success” or “I must be right,” we suffer when those things are threatened.

Ego resists surrender. Spiritual growth often requires letting go—of control, of certainty, of being “right.” The ego resists this, fearing dissolution. This is incredibly important in my own work, because if I'm hyper focused on my interpretations from Spirit and if I'm right or wrong, I'll miss powerful and needed information. Often times I might hear things from Spirit that frankly are unbelievable and seem strange. There may have been a time I didn't share the information and then later I find out that very strange thing, actually happened and I was withholding a powerful piece of evidence for fear of being wrong.

Ego creates separation. Ego thrives on comparison, judgment, and superiority (“I’m more enlightened than you”), which blocks unity and compassion. I get this thrown at me personally if someone needs to feel superior, saying, "sorry I triggered your ego". It is common to hear in Spiritual communities from those feeling ENLIGHTENED. They shun the very thing they're using in the moment.

Spiritual ego emerges. Ironically, ego can hijack the spiritual path itself—creating identity around being “awakened,” “pure,” or “chosen.” This leads to spiritual narcissism.

But Here’s the Twist: Ego Isn’t the Enemy

Many mystics and psychologists (including Jung and even Freud), and you can add me to that list, argue that ego is a necessary bridge between soul and world (or as I like to call it, EARTH SCHOOL). The problem isn’t ego—it’s ego inflation or ego rigidity. When ego is flexible, humble, and integrated, it becomes a sacred steward of your soul’s mission. I fully believe to be human we must have ego. I believe it's a construct necessary for enlightenment.

“The ego is meant to be an aid, but it has been allowed to become a tyrant.” —Jane Roberts

Ego as a Tool for Transformation

In my work, ego is like the chrysalis—it holds the structure while the soul transforms. It’s not about killing the ego, but retraining it to serve truth, not fear and if you know me, you know fear is something I will continually work to release from this world. Humans are indoctrinated with it and kept down, kept from finding their true power. So I'll continue to let ego help me in this work.

Thank you for joining me today as I shared! What do you think? What does ego do for you?